Sunday, January 29, 2012

I will never make fun of Monster Trucks again


The Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam rocked me so thoroughly and completely. I was and am still in shock. I feel like a damn fool for being so damn elitist all these years.

We got to the Verizon Center at 2 p.m. today expecting to do some serious mocking and gawking. Instead, the roaring behemoths grabbed us by the ears and didn't let go.

Yes, they were amazingly loud - we needed earplugs even at the very top of the stadium.

But when you spend your whole life looking at regular cars, the power and ass-kicking performance of a Monster Truck stops you in your tracks. Even from hundreds of feet up in the standards you find yourself gasping when they flying screaming into the air. It's a spectacle not marred by wifebeaters, beer brawls or excessive American flag saluting (although there was some of that). Rather, it's a spectacle of serious machines tearing shit UP.

Even the most cynical of us was quickly converted, and we picked trucks and cheered them on:
  • The ridiculous Monster Mutt (complete with doggy ears and a tail mounted on a spring)
  • The Illuminator (a regular truck with neon stripes)
  • The Northern Nightmare (A Canadian truck that people seemed oddly appreciative of)
  • and GRAVEDRIGGER - the truck that was celebrating it's 30th anniversary today. Really.

There was drama, showmanship, skill, daring, danger and tons more. I can't wait to go back.

6 comments:

shesthesheriff said...

So let me get this straight...first he herpt, and then he herp derped?

shesthesheriff said...

I wonder if a truck with a really dumb name automatically gets applause.....ladies and gentlemen, ANCIENT PAPYRUS!!!!

Jonathan Rubin said...

STRAIGHT from MESOPOTAMIA.....

AN said...

I've actually always wanted to go to one of those. (Shhh.. don't tell my hipster classmates tho.)

shesthesheriff said...

YES. Please don't tell any hipsters about this. If monster trucks start appearing at coachella we will surely all feel the wrath of an unforgiving and merciless deity.

shesthesheriff said...

ladies and gentlemen: IRONIC PLAID!!!!