Saturday, February 26, 2011

Friends don't let friends use 5 Hour Energy



My poor coworker Ayanna had an awful experience on Thursday night. She missed her 8 p.m. bus, and didn't feel like waiting another hour in a terrible NE DC neighborhood for another one. So she tried to walk home.... but got lost in an even WORSE neighborhood.

Like, "crack den" bad neighborhood.

She tried to call a friend and get directions... but her phone died. And, this being a bad neighborhood, there were no cabs. She finally took refuge in a church which just happened to be open late (it was Bingo night) and she got a ride home.

Needless to say, it took her 2.5 hours to get home, and she was pretty damn tired today. Coffee wasn't cutting it, so she took out her secret weapon - the "magic bullet" known as 5 hour energy.

She had never tried it before. I told her to beware - my girlfriend and I had tried it once on a 7-11 impulse by and had the shakes all night. She examined the ingredients, looking for warning signs. The ingredients listed were:

  • Vitamin B6
  • Vitamin B12
  • Niacin (Vitamin B3)
  • Folic Acid (Vitamin B9)
  • Energy Blend
Not so bad, right? Until you dig in further to the mysterious "Energy Blend."
  • Citicoline
  • Tyrosine
  • Phenylalanine
  • Taurine (the stuff used in Red Bull)
  • Malic Acid
  • Glucuronolactone
  • Caffeine
So rather than coffee's one stimulant, it has SEVEN. Here's what the stranger ingredients are. Anyone else used this stuff to good / bad effect?

2 comments:

Jess said...

That stuff creeps the heck out. Pretty sure it's not anywhere close to natural. I also don't drink Red Bull/Monster either because they creep me out for the same reason. Pretty sure there's no way that stuff can be good for your body.

shesthesheriff said...

I had a design for an energy drink logo that I really liked--it was a lizard being crucified by a bunch of other lizards in leather armor in the middle of a battlefield of decimated lizard people--carnage everywhere--anguished cries of lizard widows.