Monday, May 3, 2010
On the merits of the $100 toothbrush (or Why I love tote bags)
Scene: Dianna and Jon's apartment. Both are lethargic after a soup + sandwich dinner from Cosi. Realizing Dianna is in a weakened state-- from the sodium coma that is Cosi -- Jon decides to unveil his latest acquisition.
Jon: I may have made an unwise purchase
Jon: Ok, so I was at the doctor's...
Jon: Right, dentist's. And they've been telling me for years that I had a tough mouth to brush and oddly shaped teeth....
Dianna: You have normal teeth.
Jon: But they're hard to brush! And... well... they've been telling me to get an electric toothbrush. So I got one
Dianna: So that's it? That's the big purchase you made. How much was it?
Jon: It was $100
Dianna: Oh man, you got taken.
Jon: (Uncomfortably) But... it was an investment in my teeth!
Dianna: You paid $100 for a toothbrush, and it'll probably cost $20 to get replacement heads every three months.
Jon: The dental hygenist was pressuring me!
Dianna: She probably got a commission.
Jon: Yeah, I saw her put her name on the purchase order. Ok... now, I'm going to show it to you, but first: You love me unconditionally, right?
Dianna: Give it to me.
Jon: Unconditional love, right?
Dianna: Jon! Look at this thing. Jon, this isn't the first time you've been hoodwinked by dentists. Remember when they told you to get that waterpick? You bought one and you only use it twice a year, both times the night before you go to the dentist.
Jon: Should I return it? I can return it? I have the receipt.
Dianna: Did you buy the mouthwash too?
Jon: No! It was free with purchase. So was this tote bag. (puts tote bag on head)
Dianna: If you return it, you have to give back the tote bag. You only bought it so you could get the tote bag, didn't you?
Dianna: You should write this up as a blog post.