Thursday, May 6, 2010

Minotaur hybrids are AOK

My friend Geo left me a garbled phone message concerning something about an NPR story, human hybridization and a scientist saying, "Sorry everyone, there won't be any minotaurs anytime soon."
As far as I'm concerned, that's too bad. Because minotaurs are awesome.
Thanks to a childhood spent obsessing about Greek mythology and role-playing games, I know a lot about minotaurs - half-human, half bull, all bad-ass. For some reason modern images always have them with battle axes, which is fine by me.
Here's why I think we need these hardy abominations - they can alleviate mankind from the tremendous loss of life of modern warfare. Because all war ever is is trying to show who has the bigger, badder, nasty fighting force. So why not take a page from the book of antiquity - Instead of pitting two huge forces against each other, why not have each side choose a single champion who will duke it out for the fate of the conflict. Two enter, one leaves, problem solved. It doesn't matter if one is juiced, or knows Karate, or has long hair or whatever. We can engineer our own, put them in gyms and feed them Goo all day. Our nations will be richer, safer and spend less on costly weapons, and can get back to actually running our counties and caring for our citizens.
Nobel prize, please.
P.S. Yes, this is my most ridiculous post to date.


shesthesheriff said...

100% agreed. Your friend Geo is obviously some kind of NPR listening genius who women find irresistible.

The liberals will no doubt whine about these proposed minotaur duels--they will be used as rodeo clowns.

Jonathan Rubin said...

Love it - haha