I have been feeling in pretty good shape for the last two years, but apparently I have no legitimate reason to feel this way. You see: I have a Master's Degree from a prestigious university, and yet I can be incredibly stupid.
For example: I work out. I try on my white T shirt. The shirt feels snug and tight, especially around my arms and chest. The natural conclusion is to think that *I* have been expanding. The more reasonable explanation is that white cotton T shirts shrink when you throw them in the dryer, so my muscle is, in fact, mythical.
I will be wearing a Snuggie from now on.