Monday, December 29, 2008

Are Zombies Green?

My friend Caroline and I have been discussing this important issue, and I'd like to share it with you, my handfull of readers:

Zombies are environmentally friendly – they consume no natural resources (besides people) and, to my knowledge, produce no waste. They do not use electricity or fuel and would most likely have a carbon footprint of zero.

So: Do we have things to learn from our undead brethren? Are they actually good for the earth, even, perhaps, better than we?

1 comment:

Jonathan Rubin said...

The rest of this ridiculous thread:

FRIEND: Zombies have no instinct for self-preservation. They run amok, often meandering right into the mouth of danger.
ME: True, although in an eco-systemetic way of thinking, since the Zombie is a green organism, and its death does not create any additional hazards, killing one may actually be neutral morally. Especially if it’s not technically alive. That said – if you are a zombie (i.e. not alive) is anything really DANGEROUS to you? Whoa… almost lost myself on that thread.
How have we definitively decided that no additional hazards are created by Zombie death? I have not yet agreed to that hypothesis. We must start there if we are to discuss this topic in any logical manner.

I'm also not sure that I buy into the "I'm dead, so nothin' endangers me" theory. Zombies may not have what we call "life", but they have an "existence". Some mechanism should be hard-wired into the zombie to maintain the existence. I guess we now have to really tackle the topic of what is a zombie "life".
Whoa is right... Owie...hoits my brain,

ME: You got me there – what does happen to zombie guts after they “die?” Do all body parts cease moving if the brain is destroyed? And, that being said, do they decompose? Since we know that zombies obviously have biological differences from regular humans, it is certainly possible that these remains may biodegrade differently / not at all, and could potentially create hazardous compounds in the process.
I don’t think, however, that zombies have any self of self-preservation. They completely lack fear, and never flee from anything, even humans mowing them down with automatic weapons / grenades / big trucks. Therefore, I believe we can assume they lack self-preservation abilities. Existence doesn’t connote life – robots exist – they are made of matter, and they have the ability to move and interact with their environment. They are, however, not alive in the conventional sense (although, in movies like the Bicenential Man, after advancing a robit technologically to a certain point, it can be tough to tell a synthetic man from a “regular” one).

Best. Thread. Ever.